Sunday - November 22

Today we had our Thanksgiving dinner. All the children and their friends came. (Paige was not here) We also celebrated Autumn's birthday. This had to have been one of the easiest turkey dinners we have ever had. It seemed so casual. That was very nice for me. Sunday is crazy for me anyways. Meetings and doing my church responsibilities. Today was also very special because Chad got ordained to the office of a priest. He now has more responsibilities as well. It will be nice to watch him prepare and bless the sacrament. I so enjoyed that when Seth was active in the church. It did my heart good to watch him perform his priesthood responsibilities. Chad will do goo. I hope he keeps the feelings he has about it all with him and it will carry him through to his mission. It is a nice thing to have hope about! Today mattered because once again I was surrounded by my family!

Saturday - November 21

My baby turned six today! I never thought I would get to this point in my life. With having eleven children there has always been a baby around. And while we now have Jonathan and he is wonderful - not having one of my own babies around has been an adjustment. I do have to say though I do like this place I am right now in my life. Autumn is so darn special! I am glad to have her teach me everyday and remind me of what is important. All my kids do that - but I get to spend more time alone during the day with Autumn than I did with the others. She has more time to tell me how to do it right! Life is good - I look around at all I have been blessed with and even though there are darker days there are more bright and sunny days in my life than dark! Today mattered because six years ago Autumn came into my life!

Friday - November 20

These are the aprons that Taylor and her friend Kayla made. Today we finished it with the buttons that she needed to still sew on. She wanted to help cook something today so she could wear her apron. It is so fun to watch these little girls as they grow into big girls. I remember when the older three girls wanted to cook, clean, and be big girls! I am having lots of fun teaching her piano and how to do other sewing projects. When I was little this is the way I imagined being a mother would be. Playing with your children and teaching them at the same time. Today was a better day - the sun is shining - I had a great run and did 8 miles and felt so good afterwards! I am done almost with all the super Saturday projects for tomorrow and done with other things I had to for my calling. After Sunday it will be just about getting ready to go to California! Today mattered because sunshine filled my soul!

Wednesday - November 18

I love this little picture! Today was a day that I needed someone to wipe my tears and help me. Today I know that my Heavenly Father is real and he was there for me. I felt peace as I drove home from the beach. I was by myself for part of the way and I listened to a new CD and during some of the songs I felt so much peace and joy for I know that the gospel is a gospel of peace. The spirit is a comforter. The tears I cried were not only tears of sadness for Paige but ones of joy for my role as a mother. I did not sign up for an easy adventure here on earth. I knew there were going to be bumps and this is just a bump. It was so sweet to come home and find my little girls waiting for me. Sharing their day with me. They laid with me as they fell asleep tonight and as they did I looked at each of their sweet faces and knew that I am the luckiest mother in the world. The hard bumps really do make me appreciate the sweet flat even roads. Today mattered as I turned again it all over to the Lord and let him wipe my tears!

Tuesday - November 17

Today was a very hard day. Actually the day was fine until around 4:00 when I got a phone call that my little Paige had been arrested. She is struggling so much right now in her life. She is making really bad choices and it is not getting her anywhere. I hope that this is a wake up call for her. Not what I ever imagined for her. This is so hard - but today does matter for me - I found peace and solace because I understand the atonement and how it works. Despite having a child who makes wrong choices life is good and being a mother is good!

Monday - November 16

Today my friends from Portland came to spend a few days with me at the beach. My family went home last night and they came in late last night. We plan on spending our time crafting and shopping. I needed sometime to myself. I needed to reflect and ponder on some of the things going on right now with Paige. It is hard for me. Getting away every once in a while like this helps me to be better with my other children when I am having a hard time with one of them. It takes my mind off of things for a while and lets it rest. This picture is not one I took, but it reflects to me the beauty of where I am right now. I have never seen a sunset like this but I have experienced many sunsets in my life. Some darker than others. When I think of Paige I wonder about what kind of sunset she sees or if she even sees them at all. You have to looking at just the right time to see images like this one - your eyes have to be fixed on it or you miss it. Several times I have said to David I will be right there, just a minute. When I get outside it is gone. It is over and the darkness is all that is left. I love that last little bit of light as the sun is going down. I have faith that the light will always return in just a few hours. I have the same kind of faith and hope that Paige will return. Today mattered because I shared time with friends and took the time to look at the end of the day to last bit of light and thanked Heavenly Father for the knowledge that the light would come again!

Sunday - November 15

Toshia went home last night. She took the boys with her. Andrew had drill this weekend and she wanted the boys to spend some time with him today before Luke had to go home to his mom's. I just love this daughter of mine. She really helps me out all the time and is always there to listen and help me work through hard things. I have always said of her that she is an old spirit in a young body. She is so good to her boys and loves them so much. They are lucky to have her as their mother. Someday I know they will see that and she will know of their appreciation. I thought a lot about her today as I often do. But today more because of the time spent together. Watching her mother her children brings me great joy! It is hard to explain but easy to feel. Today mattered as I thought and watched my daughter be a mother to her own!

Saturday - November 14

Today was beautiful! The calm before the storm. I had a great run down along the beach. The sun was just coming up and the weather was perfect. I really thought a lot about God's creations as I ran this morning. The Habel family came and joined us for a couple of days. We went shopping and down on the beach and then to one of our favorite places a park here in town. The kids call it "Castle Park". It is called something else but to us it will always be "Castle Park". I think everyone had a great time. There is so much to explore along the lake and in the park. The swings were amazing and the kids played together so nicely! Jenn made dinner. That I loved because I would rather not cook if I can help it so when she offered I was all over it! Today mattered because we shared with friends more than fun but a love and bond that will hold us through!

Friday - November 13

Today I took the kids and Toshia's boys to the beach . Toshia and David are coming down later tonight. I love our beach house. We have enjoyed this place for a very long time. We are so lucky to be able to come here as often as we do. It is supposed to be stormy this weekend. I love that we get to see the beach in all the seasons. Each season brings its own beauty. This is such a cute picture of Hayden and Jonathan looking out at the water. We have invited friends down to stay for the weekend. It should be lots and lots of fun! Today mattered because we got to experience the beauty of the coast as a family!

Thursday - November 12

Today I was thinking a lot about how we got to this place where we live now. It has been quite a journey! We owned two homes before this one and rented a few places before that. Before we moved here we had to live in a rental house for a space of time. It was tiny! we had 8 children still at home and there were only three bedrooms and one bath in that place. It was a blessing even though it was small. It did help us appreciate this house we live in now. I was thinking of all the blessings that I have in my life right now. These silly children are my best blessings. I found this old picture that we had taken while living in that rental house. There were fun times there despite the cramped living conditions. What made it bearable was the fun we had together as a family. I am very grateful for my family and all they teach me. These kids look so young in this picture compared to the look the carry today. I hope that as they have grown older they will also remember the fun and love that we share as a family. Today mattered because family matters!

Wednesday - November 11

Today Taylor and I went to our friend's home and I taught her to sew. Kim and her daughter Kayla and Taylor and I spent a wonderful afternoon together sewing an apron. We taught them about cutting out, how to pin things together and how tot use the sewing machine. I sat behind Taylor as she sewed. It was so fun to help guide her hands as she sewed her apron. She kept saying, "This is so fun!". I thought so too. It was more fun because we were friends and learning together. Today mattered because I got to spend time with my Taylor!

Tuesday - November 10

What a very busy day today was! I went to the gym - went to Ashleigh's school so she could finish cleaning my teeth and clean Autumn's teeth. That was a trip. Then home in time to get ready for a stake auxiliary meeting! I love serving in Relief Society. I have learned to love serving the sisters. I have always worked with the youth of the church so this has been a good opportunity for me to grow in ways I did not know. I like to think of our serving in the Relief Society as a quilt. That image helps me see that it is all fabrics and stitches coming together to make a beautiful whole. All of us serving together make us whole as women. We learned about that tonight in our meeting. It takes all of us each doing our part and Relief Society meetings help us accomplish that goal. Today mattered because of all that I had to do I got to end my day being spiritually feed by the good sisters of this stake!

Monday - November 9

Today I had the opportunity to help Sister Ferrin out with a quilt she is quilting for her daughter. I have helped a couple of other times but today spent a little longer doing what I find to be a very rewarding and fun past time. I love the companionship shared with the couple of sisters that were there and a different group of ladies that I usually do not get to spend time talking with. After that Danna came over for me to help her with her sharing time this month. We came up with the funnest game and I think she will do a great job with it. After a while I looked over on the chair and there were my two little charges cuddled up together sleeping. It makes me happy that Autumn loves her nephew so much and really is a big help to me as we watch him for Toshia. I love that I get to spend time with this little guy and that he loves me too! Today mattered because I got to serve my sisters and at the same time Autumn was learning to serve her family!

Sunday - November 8

My Sundays start early now. I have an 8:00 missionary committee meeting that I now attend. But in a way I like it. I get up and going, go to the meeting and am home to get everyone else up and going. It was kind of cold today. As I stood looking out my window this morning I was reminded of the day by a sign that is in my window. "Keep Holy the Sabbath". You can hardly see it in the picture a small hand stitched sign but yet the message is most important. Today mattered because I kept the Sabbath holy and served in my callings!

Saturday - November 7

Just an ordinary Saturday. Started my day with a couple of classes at the gym. Spin and body sculpting class. Then afterwards got cleaned up and off to do work at Steve's house. Then to the grocery store and home again to catch the children playing with the "Dora" toys. The whole family room was set up with plastic houses, plastic furniture, plastic cars, and plastic people. I played with them for little while and loved watching as they used their imaginations. Just an ordinary day but it mattered because without ordinary I wouldn't appreciate the extra-ordinary!

Friday - Novemeber 6

Bead group was today. We made these cute button bracelets. I have wanted to make these for a while and I am so happy to get them done. They are so cute. It not just the baking of the bracelets that I loved so much, but the company that I was with. The ladies are really fun to craft with! The conversation is always good and even though they don't know it they are teaching me. Today mattered because I not only made something but was taught as well!

Thursday - November 5

After yesterday I just wanted to stop being a mother for a while. But I can't really do that seeing as that is really what I love being the most. The Lord really knows how to take care of me. Usually after a really hard time with Paige I get some little gems of time with some of my other kids. Today it was Chad who got me. After school he had to take a test and I had to wait for a while. While waiting I talked with some of the kids friends. It was a nice chat. Teenagers who are focused and know what they want. While driving home Chad shared about his day with me and when I got to the driveway we just sat there ant talked. It was about a 50 minute talk. Everything from what he did at school to assignments he was working on - the latest update on the problems the kids are having publishing articles in the school newspaper - and what he had planned for the weekend. This boy is focused and so goal oriented. Toshia was a lot like that. It has gotten her very far - I know that Chad is going to accomplish great things if he keeps his focus. He has made some mistakes - all teenagers do - but he learns from them and I think tries to grow and become better from them. Today mattered because I realized how important mothering is not just on good days like today - but on the hard days like yesterday. This mother bird is still building the nest and learning how to teach them to fly!

Wednesday - November 4

Look at these two angels girls. Both have such similar personalities. Yet both are so different. I worry about both. Drama seems to follow both of them wherever they go. Today was hard - really hard. I had lots to do - meetings - things for my calling - piano lessons - projects to finish with friends - and in the middle of it all Paige had to pick today to be difficult. Things have been hard for a while with her but now I have to make some decisions based on her choices and this is not the part of being a mother that I like. I needed David to help me out with this and it is just as hard for him as it is for me. We talked a lot and most of all prayed a lot. Today really mattered because it was hard and because it was hard it drove me to my knees where I learn the most!

Tuesday - November 3

Today was applesauce making day! I have been waiting all summer to do this. I borrowed a thingy that makes making applesauce a breeze. You just cook the apples, dump into the strainer thing, crank the handle, out comes the applesauce and out the other end comes the yucky stuff. I made 20 quarts. I am excited to use the fruit I have bottled this summer. Winter is going to be so fun - every time I open a jar of jam or jelly or fruit memories are going to come pouring out! Today mattered because as I worked on provident living I created memories to be opened during the dreary days of winter!

Monday - November 2

Today was a beautiful fall day! I could not believe the beautiful sunshine that we got experience. This little bird of mine has kept a watchful eye over my flower garden for a couple of years. Sitting on my deck it watches over the flowers there. Today I moved it down on the potting table for the winter. I love the birds I have scattered through my home. There is something about these cute little creatures that speak to me. I do not know what it is but I am intrigued with how they work in nature. How they build their nests and take care of their babies. The great care they take in building their nest and gather the materials to do so - the way the fly away for food for their babies so they can grow into strong little birdies - how they push the young ones out of the nest to fly on their own - all this reminds me of my role as a mother. Today mattered because I am a mother!

Sunday - November 1

Today in Relief Society we talked about what we are grateful for. Sis. Hoffman did a fantastic job and it was fun how she had asked different sisters to share what they were thankful for. Then in between their comments she said what she was thankful for. It really got me to thinking about how much I am blessed with and for what makes me happy. What was common with all the sisters was how much they loved their families. I was thinking that was on the top of my list as well. Chelsea here is helping getting things ready for Jonathan's party yesterday. She had lots to do herself that day but she did take the time to come help us celebrate. That is what I love about my girls - with the exception of work or school keeping them away - they are always there to help. We had our family birthday party a couple of weeks ago and again everyone came and helped and there was a lot of love. I am very grateful for my children. I love them and could not imagine my world without them. They are a lot of work, but nonetheless, today matters because of them!

Saturday - October 31

Can I just say that Halloween is not one of my favorite holidays. I think as a kid I liked it only for the candy and time we got to be with our dad. Luke this year wanted to be Dracula! These kids love Halloween and the dressing up and all that goes with it. Toshia was great and yesterday helped the little girls pick out costumes and agreed to take them with her trick or treating. We had Jonathan's birthday party at our house today and lots of people and kids came. Then they all left to go trick or treating. Chad stayed home with me and handed out candy. It was fun to hang out with him and talk about the latest book he has been reading. Even though this is not one of my favorite days today mattered because memories were made!

Friday - October 30

Today this little man turned one! I can remember last year like it was today. I was so nervous for Toshia. I knew she did not know what to expect and I did not know how to tell her what she was in for. Fortunately, everything went well with her delivery and now one year later I am enjoying kisses from this sweet little man! I knew I would love being a grandma but like Toshia not knowing what to expect with her delivery I could not have begun to know what it was going to be like being a grandmother. What a joy it has been and continues to be - today mattered because I am part of a legacy!

Thursday - Octobober 29

A couple of weeks ago I bottled about 35 quarts of grape juice. Today I made jelly with some of that beautiful grape juice! I watched Jonathan and took care of now two sick children - but I still managed to get 12 quarts and 16 pints of jelly made. When I went to book club meeting tonight it was great to sit and relax and talk about the book with the ladies. Half way through I realized I had on no make up and my yucky sweats! Boy I must have been a sight - but today mattered because I cooked jelly for my family and had the privilege of being with my wonderful book club ladies!

Wednesday - October 28

Today - Ran 5 miles. Cleaned house. Took care of sick Taylor. Did 4 loads of laundry. Went to IKEA with Toshia. Finished decorating for fall/halloween for Jonathan's party on Saturday. Made dinner. Took Noah to meeting. Read some more of "book club" book. Studied scriptures. Thought about making cookies. Decided not to. Taught 3 piano lessons. Read books to Autumn. Put clean sheets on Taylor's bed and cleaned up her room. Read "Anne of Green Gables" to girls before bedtime. Read decorating magazines before bed. Finally, went to bed thinking "tomorrow I have to start this all over again". Today mattered because I just did!